It’s that time again when we hit the market looking for our next world-class team member. Presently we are seeking a talented Senior PHP/Laravel developer.
Turns out our standards for what we consider to be talent are incredibly high and altogether somewhat unorthodox, but, we like to think we know a thing or two about what to do with someone awesome when we find them.
Startups offer all kinds of fluffy surface-level ‘perks’ to encourage team building and a positive work-life balance. Pool tables with 3 generations of dust mites living on them, slides that transport overworked cubicle droid bots gleefully from one floor to the next, fancy think-tank rooms that are adorned with more expensive decor than most staff earn in a year, and so on. You can have all the finest toys and resources in the world, but it’s often in exchange for all the 30-hour work days you can stomach. It’s almost as if project managers and producers fully plan to maintain a state of project-perma-crunch so that they keep the team over-sweating, overclocked and perpetually under-thanked. Even when there is a short lived ‘thanks’ to be had, it’s all so wonderfully thankless. Do you know what we mean? Well, of course you do.
Here’s what we think represents a much better set of tangible perks that we hope will produce a PURPLE COW in the history of staff indulgence. In fact, we hope to one day be the most PURPLE corporation on the planet. If you know of a company that offers better perks for their team than we do, won’t you please let us know? We’ll consume the ideas and make them better. It’s amazing what can happen when people come first and profits come a distant twenty-fifth. (the irony is of course that the profits attainable to you when you have this worldview are enough to make even the greediest over-snacked bankers slobber themselves with cash-burning-cigar-smoking envy).
Reasons for working at Jasper:
- 2 weeks paid vacation time during the Christmas season. We close the studio for 2 weeks solid in December and if you’re a FT contractor or staff member it means that YOU can enjoy the holidays with your family and loved ones. NO phone calls, NO Christmas eve contests for thankless executives and especially NO having to watch others get time off while you toil coldly into the holiday night. It’s lonely singing Jingle Bells by yourself in front of your monitor on Christmas and New Year’s eves. We would know, some of us have tried it.
- 4 weeks additional paid holiday time throughout the year for FT contractors/staff that prove their value and stay with us for at least one full calendar year.
- Percentage based bonus incentives that are based on operating profits (i.e. gross revenues less staffing expenses).
- Join our team almost daily for a perpetual ‘Taste of Liberty Village’ as we explore the many fabulous downtown culinary delights to be found nearby our studio. Actually, odds are good on any given day (especially if the sun is shining) you’ll find us at Williams Landing!
If you’re that employee who likes to bag a lunch every day and sometimes what you’ve got in your Tupperware is just downright horrible, we promise when you are done working at Jasper you won’t EVER eat the same. Unfortunately you may however gain unholy amounts of weight.
Anyhow no more 2 star cold meat sandwiches for you. And don’t worry, for the right candidate you can be sure we’ll pay you enough to afford all these good eats! We’re all on shake diets and exercise programs anyhow BUT to compensate we make sure that our lunches are scarcely boring and incredibly calorie rich.
- Each contributing team member has invaluable input into the work we actually take on and when. Imagine helping us decide which clients to take on and which ones to respectfully refer on to some other poor souls? Liberty. It has its perks but it also comes with a healthy share of accountability and risk though. This ins’t IBM and we don’t have any company blue suits for you. No guarantee you’ll be with us for the next 20 years either and we have LOUSY RSP matching policies BUT we sure think we’re a whole world of fun if you can join us for the roller-coaster. Won’t you join us for the fun? If you have copious amounts of disposable cash and are a generous soul you are particularly welcomed to apply.
- EXCELLENT above-standard salary or daily rates, generally attainable just 6-months into working with us once value has been proven.
- 4-day long weekends in the summer off with full pay.
- You’ll get to work with some pretty congenial, graceful, talented, patient, articulate, prescient, charming, and just downright wonderful people.
- AND… everything else you’d expect from a professional startup. No, we don’t have our own slide or anything BUT we will send you to a nearby children’s playground ALL EXPENSES PAID whenever you feel the urge to go.
You see the thing is, if you are at all valuable to us you immediately become invaluable. We like to think our selected clients and partners are too.
In closing, are you: patient, friendly, tolerant, temperate, skilled, detail oriented, honest, integral, gentle, wise, optimistic, graceful and altogether Renaissance?
If so, please reach out to us today! We’ve been waiting our young lives for you.